Monday, 14 OctoberPersonal · 4 min
The good in the everyday
Today I noticed the light coming through the kitchen window at about half past four. Nothing extraordinary. It landed on the fruit bowl and made the pears look like they were lit from inside.
I have walked past that window ten thousand times. I do not remember ever stopping at it before.
Maybe that is the whole thing. Not finding a better life, just noticing the one that is already in the room.
Tuesday, 22 OctoberWork · 9 min
What I actually want from this year
Not a promotion. I keep saying “career growth” in meetings because it is the correct phrase, but sitting here on a Tuesday with the laptop still warm, what I actually want is fewer Sundays spent dreading Monday.
So I made two lists. Things I would keep doing even if nobody noticed: the writing, the mentoring, the quiet hour before anyone else is awake. And one thing I only do to be seen — the status update nobody reads, which takes an hour to write and makes me feel worse.
I am not going to quit anything this week. But I am going to notice which list each day lands in.
Sunday, 3 NovemberHard days · 2 min
Tonight, plainly
I do not have anything wise to say. Today was heavy and I do not entirely know why, which is its own kind of tiring.
What I know: I ate something. I answered two messages. I did not cancel the thing on Thursday, which I wanted to.
That is the entry. Tomorrow can be better or not. Right now, bed.
Thursday, 7 NovemberGratitude · 3 min
Things I would have forgotten
Rain on the skylight at 6am, which meant I did not have to get up yet.
A text from my sister that was just a photograph of her dog looking guilty next to a torn cushion.
The first coffee in weeks that tasted exactly right, which is probably about the beans, and possibly about the five minutes I actually sat down to drink it.
Filing these here so the week is not remembered as only the hard parts.